The Closure in Blooming
"Sometimes the only way to move on is to identify what the experience taught you, then develop a sense of closure on your own. Other people rarely provide the closure we're actually looking for. Instead, they just frustrate us more." Horacio Jones
I have both Darius Rucker and Migos on my Apple Music. I genuinely love all types of music (if anyone has any good alternative bands I should listen to, slide in the comments section). One universal component of music is the theme of heartbreak. That's because heartbreak is universal. It doesn't discriminate at all and if you live long enough, you'll experience it (maybe even a few times).
I'll be the one to say it: heartbreak sucks. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It sucks to invest time, effort, and love into someone only to see it fall apart. Which is why so many of us seek something we're more than likely not going to get from the person we care about, it's why we seek closure.
I thought I needed closure after my last relationship. I thought that if I just asked 1 or 2 more questions or if I checked his social media enough I would be able to decipher why he wasn't happy. I was very much wrong. After that breakup God knocked me upside the head and told me that I wasn't going to find what I was looking for behind a door He closed and that is when I truly found closure.
Seeking closure from the wrong source is like keeping a door propped open that should be slammed shut. There is no point in it and all it does is leave you hoping for more. Here's a few tips to consider on your search for true closure:
1. Remember your worth
I've written about this briefly in my post "Keep Ya Head Up" but remembering your worth is extremely important in all aspects of your life, especially through heartbreak. When you take into account the fact that you are made in God's image, it's easy to remember that you are indeed all that and a bag of chips. ACT LIKE IT. Another person's inability to see your worth does not negate it. Seeking closure can oftentimes leave you vulnerable. You'll be tempted to accept pieces of a person because in the moment it seems better than nothing. Resist it. You deserve extraordinary love, acceptance, and commitment. Demand it from all your relationships and keep it stepping.
2. The world keeps spinning
This one is pretty simple. Life goes on. One of the woman I look up to in ministry said it best: "We tend to need a long dramatic finish to things when even on Calvary Jesus simply said 'it is finished.'" I know it's hard to see but when you continuously seek closure from someone, you prolong your pain. People fall, people make mistakes, and sometimes they just suck. Sometimes things just don't work out and that reason may not be revealed to you until later in life. God is trying to protect you by concealing some things. The world doesn't stop, but yours will if you keep seeking closure from people and situations that can't give it to you. The world keeps spinning, choose to keep spinning with it.
3. Bloom where God has planted you
Yeah, I know this one is tough. You're mad at God. Why did He plant you outside of what you wanted? Why couldn't He have just adjusted His plans for yours. LOL, that's cute. Wherever God has planted you is exactly where He needs you to be. He's uprooted you from certain relationships or situationships because He has a plan for you. Sis, sometimes the uproot is the blessing. When we try to question our way to closure or back into the hearts of someone who has made it clear to us how they feel, we insult God. We tell him that we don't trust Him. The fact that God removed them from your life should be enough closure. Everyone can't go where God is taking you and Paul is pretty clear in Ephesians that God is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us." I know it can be tough to remember that His plan is always greater than our own, but trust and believe He's been in the blessing business since the beginning of time. Step out of that situation and get ready to bloom in this new season.
When you start to find comfort in knowing that God's plan for your life will prevail, you'll find true closure. I dare you to bloom. Right here. In this moment. I dare you to surrender your will to His and watch Him work. He hasn't failed yet.